Today, I made a choice. It was not an easy choice, in fact, I was quite conflicted about it. And I'm sure that I will get flack for this post, but here goes...

Ever since I heard that the Susan G. Komen center supports abortions, I had vowed not to support them anymore. It's a fact that made me sad because even though I have not been a huge supporter with any vast donations, etc., I had, however, on many occasions opted to buy products specifically because they had the little pink ribbon on them. So many instances that I can't even name them all, just because I knew that it was going to help breast cancer awareness, treatments and, possibly, a cure. Though I will say that I don't believe there will EVER be a cure for cancer- breast or otherwise- because that's just not the way this world works and we're just not as smart as we think we are, but that's a blog for another day. All that to say, I had made a definitive mind switch about supporting them, just as I had stopped going to Starbuck's for the very same reason. It's not an easy decision (especially the Starbuck's one!), but one I felt convicted of so I have to remain true to that. Until today...

Today, my hubby was running in the "race for the cure" in Tyler, in honor of his Mom who he lost to breast cancer 14 years ago. When he told me he had signed up for this race, he also precluded it by saying- "now, I know how you feel about them..." I appreciated his understanding of my conviction. But I was faced with a dilemma... stay true to my conviction or support my husband. I feel I am called to do both. So when faced with a choice BETWEEN them, what do you do? I told him I would have to pray over it and I would let him know what I decided. I felt very strong in my conviction, but at the same time, I could not IMAGINE my husband going to run a race (especially in honor of his Mom!) and me NOT being there for him. I have been there for every race he has ran in and it would be very sad for me to miss it. In the end, I made the choice to go and support my husband. And I felt I held true to my conviction at the same time. I did not, personally, provide money to their organization. My husband did and that's between him and God. I did not purchase anything while I was there, did not promote it in any way, other than to support my husband running in it. At the end of the day, I felt I made the right choice and that God was pleased with my decision.

But while we're on the subject, I have to say this... this is what came to my mind while sitting there at the awards ceremony, seeing all the survivors of breast cancer come filing in. It made me very happy for them, that they are winning their battle with breast cancer. But I also found it very ironic. How do you spend countless hours upon hours in research and fundraising and working to try and find a cure for breast cancer and all the money that it entails to do that- how do you decide that all those women's lives are worthy of doing ALL that, but that the innocent life of an unborn child is just meaningless? How do you go through all that to save as many women (and men) as you can possibly hope to save, working towards a "cure", but throw out the unborn children with the trash. I'm sorry, that's harsh, but it IS the reality! Like I told Bri... if a baby was just a day old and you killed it, life in prison. Right? But INSIDE the womb, different story? Bull. Bull. Bull. Bull. And bull! I'm not buying it and neither is God, quite frankly. God puts children high, high, high up on His list and people discarding them like yesterday's trash... all I can say is I'm glad I'm not one of them. I can't understand it. Cannot comprehend it. Cannot wrap my mind around it. I thank my God that despite ALLLLLL my mistakes, that is one that I never, ever could wrap my mind around. And my heart breaks, it weeps deeply for all those precious babies that have been deemed unworthy of life. You know what though- judgment comes for those who disregard their precious little lives. And God rewards them. "But most fortunate of all are those who are not yet born. For they have not seen all the evil that is done under the sun." ~ New Living Translation (©2007)

So no, I will not/cannot support Susan G. Komen any longer. That is my conviction. I will no longer support Starbuck's any longer. And any others that come up that I find out about. Because I can only do something about the ones I know about, that's where my conviction begins. But once you know and DON'T act, that's when judgment comes... (blog written on Saturday May 12, 2012)