Well, for one... I want to make a difference. I want to impact this world in a significant way. How do I do this? I have my ideas, but those are between me and God and- ultimately- up to His will and His timing anyway. God knows my heart and He knows the significance of my *dreams*. I loved what I learned at Feminar this weekend... my job is OBEDIENCE, God's job is RESULTS. How very appropriate this word was for me at this particular time in my life. God has been speaking this word *obedience* to me consistently lately. My question was and is- obedient to what, exactly, Lord? What is it that You're calling me to do, exactly? Well, as God typically chooses to do- He only lets me in on bits and pieces of His plan. Probably because if I were to know the full broad scope of it all at once, it would completely overwhelm me and I would go running the other direction! God knows our capabilities and knows that we DON'T tend to know them. I think we don't give ourselves credit for what we are truly capable of- through HIM. That is key... THROUGH HIM! We are CAPABLE of moving MOUNTAINS... THROUGH HIM! So to question that *we* can do what He has called us to do is truly to question that HE is capable... because He has said that He would never leave us nor forsake us. Nor will He ask us to do on our own what He has designed.
I learned so very, very much over the 2 days of Feminar and was truly blessed by this experience. Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs31 Ministries was SUCH an inspiration! And Lori Salerno was a captivating speaker! Phillips, Craig and Dean were awesome, as always and Jeff Allen kept us ROLLING in Godly humor! Janet White moved our hearts on the righteousness of God and marriage and men. And Laura Story is an AWESOME worship leader from Georgia who wrote the now famous "Indescribable" as sang by Chris Tomlin. There were so many aspects of this that I cannot even begin to tell you all of them. But suffice it to say- God moved in an incredible, incredible way... at least for me. Almost everything He has been speaking to me and whispering to my soul lately was addressed in those 2 days, in some way or another. And when they began to lead us in worship with the song "It Is Well With My Soul"- I just lost it!! Just the day before- out of nowhere and I had no idea why- God gave me the tweet post that I made that simply said "I have learned to say... it is well with my soul. No matter what." Clearly, clearly the movement of God. I mean- what are the odds? That song of ALL songs or ALL hymns that could be sang?
So my question again today is... what do I want out of THIS life? Not great *success*, not great wealth, not a fancy home or expensive car (although that WOULD be nice! ;) my greatest desire is to make a DIFFERENCE- for my life not to have been just a subpar life that didn't greatly impact anyone or anything, but for those that love me and are close to me. Not that that wouldn't be enough- mind you. I LOVE my life and my hubby is ranked above the best (if I do say so myself!;), my children are the absolute light of my life and I have some of the best, best friends a girl could ask for! I love my job and my talents and all of these things and it's not that I'm not grateful for any one of these things... but... it isn't my real purpose here. God didn't just put me on this earth to have a family, have a job, have friends, and have hobbies. He put me on this earth to make a DIFFERENCE! So my greatest desire- my hearts' song- is have your way in me, Lord! MOVE ME!! Lead me in the direction You would have me to go! And when I'm there, let me know it!
I know you have put a story in me to tell. I didn't go through the things that I have gone through just to be another sob story- You have a PURPOSE for it... allow me to tell that story! Let people be moved by it- for YOUR glory! All for Your glory, Lord. For if it is not, it is all in vain and I don't want any part of it.
I've lived my 40 years on this earth- about to be 41- *for such a time as this*. I believe this with my whole heart. But I'm running out of time. I also believe THAT with my whole heart. I need to get off my duff, stop wasting time, and DO what I've been called to do. That is my cry to the Lord now. Don't let me waste anymore time, Lord! I have wasted enough...
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